Free Trojan Condom
Condoms are better than kids, that’s all I can say.
Free Sleep Apnea Supplies
If you randomly stop breathing in the middle of the night, only to wake up again from the dead [in the real world we’d call you a zombie] then you can get this sleeping kit for free. Nobody likes zombies, and you’re lucky no one has taken a shovel to you yet.
Free Wood Skull Auto Freshener!
We just got back from driving to the Salton Sea, so my car is quite literally a mud pot [the whole place was flooded from all the insane rain we’ve been having]. What better way to beautify it again than with a free wood skull auto freshener?
Free Moses Pin!
He was always my favorite character in the Ten Comandments movie.
Cheap Halloween Costumes!
Halloween is quickly coming up, so you best be getting your costume ready to go! Moon Costumes has some really cool outfits [my favorite being the shark eating man] for Adults and Kids. Have fun!
Free Personal Horoscope! Witchcraft!
I don’t trust these so called witches, so if you want to get yourself a free horoscope and learn about your imminent plague death, by all means sign up!
